


Lackluster Blockbuster

by GoofyGoldenGirl



Category: Journey into Mystery, Marvel, Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Disguise, Friendship, Funny, Gen, Humor, Immaturity, Scheming, Silly, Somewhat crack, movie theater, movies - Freeform, twelve year old god children everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoofyGoldenGirl/pseuds/GoofyGoldenGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The hit movie of the summer has come to Broxton. But what's the catch? </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lackluster Blockbuster

The hit movie of the summer had come to town. StormRider 3000: a two hour adrenaline rush of violence and gore topped off with liberal use of the word _fuck_

A run of the mill Hollywood flick with an overused plot, poorly developed characters, grating dialogue, with editing skills a la Michael Bay as its saving grace? Of course Loki wanted to see it. So he dragged Leah along.

"What is a point of a bazooka that fires from both end?" Leah glanced over at the poster as she and Loki waited on the ticket line. 

"It's cool," he said.

"It's _stupid_ " she sighed. "Where would you aim it? You can't use it in a battle. You'd shoot your own men."

"But what if you're surrounded by enemies?" Loki proposed.

"It's still stupid," she said.

Loki got the attention of the cashier at the ticket booth who opened the booth window.

"Hi! Two tickets for StormRider 3000 please?" He asked.

"Can I see your ID?" The cashier held out his hand. 

"Um, is that necessary?"

"ID."

"ID. I don't need ID. I'm Loki," Loki leaned over the counter and gave the cashier a smug look. "That should sufficient enough to let us in."

"ID," The cashier pointed at Leah.

"An ID?" Leah was confused. 

"It's to check if you're seventeen miss," the cashier flatly said.

"Loki what is this nonsense?" Leah hissed under her breath.

"Mr. Cashier man I'm pretty sure we're holding up the line. You don't want to anger the other customers do you? They'd probably start a riot if they don't get their tickets. So can we just pay and go in?" Loki put on his most charming expression.

"Look kid I'm not gonna argue with you. You can't see StormRider3000 without a parent or guardian. Try again in a few years."

"But--"

"No buts. Next!"

Defeated and sore, the two children took refuge in the diner were they lamented over milkshakes.

"Dammit!" Loki pounded his fist on the table. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Why can't we just be seventeen?"

"Midgardians are unusually strict when it comes to rules," Leah took a sip of her milkshake. 

"I wanna see this movie so bad!" Loki whined. "And I have to see it on the opening weekend! By the time Monday comes around, everyone will have seen it! Spoilers will be all over the internet! And it won't be the same!"

"Can't you just do the thing on the internet where you get it illegally?" Leah asked, annoyed.

"I have high standards for my torrents! Everything that's out right now are either viruses or crap quality!" 

"Hey kid!" The manager yelled from across the room. "Watch your mouth! Do you wanna be kicked out?"

Loki pulled his milkshake towards him and angrily slurped.

"There must be another way," he anxiously said. 

"Well put your brain to good use for once and think of something!" Leah exclaimed. 

He placed his hand on his chin and thought.

"We could sneak in," he suggested.

"Through the back entrance?"

"Too risky. They'll still see us. It leads directly towards the lobby."

"How about a disguise?" Leah asked.

"That's a good idea!" Loki was excited. "Hey Leah! Do you know a spell that could age us up?"

"There's one. I wouldn't recommend it. It's permanent. Not to mention dangerous. I think it involves months of planning and tapping into the multiverse."

"Alright, scratch that," Loki said. "But we should stick with a disguise. It fits us well don't you think?"  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
The next day at exactly 2:45, Loki and Leah rounded the corner towards the movie theater. They were decked out in clothing that was a few sizes too big for them that was padded with tissues, their faces smeared with makeup, complete with high heels on their feet that added a few inches to their height. Leah clung to Loki's arm as she stumbled for the fifth time.

"Careful!" Loki told her.

"I'm _trying_ ," she hissed. 

"At least we're almost there. Ikol stay still!" Loki turned his attention towards his shoulder where Ikol perched.

They approached the ticket booth once more. The ticket taker slid the window open and asked how he could help them.

Loki opened his mouth.

"Hey man what's up? Can I get two tickets for StormRider?" Came Ikol's voice.

The cashier tapped the microphone and spoke into it:

"That will be $23.50."

Loki paid and the two children wobbled their way into the theater. This time it was Loki's turn to trip, just as they were about to go down the stairs.

"If we get caught it's all your fault," Leah angrily whispered as she pulled him back up.

"How would it be my fault," Loki grabbed Leah's arm a bit too tightly. She winced.

"People are staring at us!"

"They're not!"

"Yes they _are!_ "

"But look at the bright side we're in the theater. I can see the concession stand!" Loki pointed.

"That will need to wait."

"Why?"

"The tissues need adjusting."

"Like now?"

"Yes. Do you want them to pile up on the floor?"

"But you're supposed to order the popcorn!"

"Why can't you do it?"

"Ikol already left."

"He already _left?_ " Leah face palmed. "Loki you're unbelievable! You and your _stupid_ bird!"

"Ok! Ok! Ok! I'll wait then we'll get the food!" Loki snapped back.

By the time Leah had fixed the tissues and they bought food the trailers had just began to play on the screen. Loki and Leah sat down in the back row.

"Whew! We're just in time," Loki said.

He offered some popcorn to Leah who grudgingly took a handful.

"This better be worth it," she muttered.  
******************************************  
They were close to the final battle scene. Loki sat on the edge of his seat, shoving the last of the popcorn into his mouth. Leah, although just as into the movie as Loki, sat with her arms crossed and with a blank expression on her face. 

Suddenly Loki nearly choked.

"Great! You'll--" Leah groaned.

Her eyes bulged. 

The scene had opened with the protagonist going over maps in the command room. Through his point of view the camera tilted up to reveal the love interest leaning by the door, completely naked.

Playful banter went back and forth between the characters as the love interest seductively waddled closer and closer to the table. It was nearly drowned out by Loki's nervous giggling. Leah remained frozen in her seat, staring at the screen in disgust.

The lovers began to kiss and fondle each other. The protagonist removed his clothes, including his pants and underwear. The camera's gaze lingered on the two as the protagonist shoved the maps off the table and--

Loki and Leah started to scream.

Everyone else in the theater turned to glare at the "seventeen" year olds who were reacting much more immaturely than what was considered to be normal. Covering their eyes, pointing, and yelling gibberish, it went on until it came to a literal screeching halt.

"WILL THE TWO KIDS WATCHING STORM RIDER 3000 PLEASE LEAVE THE THEATER," boomed over the intercom.

Their cover blown, Loki and Leah ran out. Pushing people waiting on line at the snack bar or walking in and out of other screening rooms, up the stairs, and past the ticker attendant who was not only grinning ear to ear, but laughing like he had witnessed the most hysterical thing ever. 

"Come back when you're seventeen kids!" He yelled. He banged on the microphone which made a shrill piercing sound.

Needless to say it would be one of the more interesting stories when Loki had to inform The Allmother that they had been banned from yet _another_ Broxton establishment.


End file.
